Censorship’s Blockade

Image result for fahrenheit 451In my persuasive essay, I am proud of my conclusion. I think I finished my essay strong by brining back my main points in previous paragraphs. As well I think I did a good job on my final sentence in the conclusion when I ended with a question that is also a metaphor.  A second thing I did well on was my essay was my use of quotes. I think the quotes I picked to put in my essay helped backup my argument and I was able to explain how the quotes I used were relevant to the arguments I was making.

Two things I would like to improve on would be: transitions between different ideas and elaborating more on the ideas that I have. My essay did not have many transition words, I would begin to talk about a new idea immediately after talking about a previous one. By having more transition words my essay would have a better flow leading toward different arguments. As well after mentioning an idea I sometimes would not explain my thoughts and evidence as to how I came up with the idea. By backing up evidence I will be able to give the reader more information so that they can have a clear sense on what I am arguing.


Fahrenheit 451 Persuasive Essay – final draft-putn6o

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