This is my monologue video that has an avatar based off Alyse from “Street Pharm.” The scene takes place just before Alyse tells Ty that Gavin is her son, and not her brother. The monologue speech is what I think Alyse would be thinking at the moment.

Monologue:

(takes deep breath) Okay, Ty has seen Gavin and seems to like him. It looks like they might just get along, but he thinks he’s my brother. He’s not expecting that I have a child, and maybe I should just play along, and pretend he’s my brother. We are only friends, it’s not like we are going to become anything more, right? But I have to admit, there is something about him that I really like. He’s gentle, and kind, almost protective even, and really funny. Wait I’m not falling for him, am I? If I am then I must tell him the truth, I have to be honest about my whole self. It would be wrong to lie, especially if we have the spark I think we have.

But what if he looks at me differently, like I’m a whole different person? What if he looks down at me because of it, or even disappointed that I’m not who he expects me to be? Gosh I’m nervous, why is this so difficult to admit. It doesn’t change me, or does it? So many teenage moms are looked at differently because of their child. People find us irresponsible, and think we are the disappointment to the family. What if Ty thinks that way too? But I don’t want to ruin our friendship with a lie.

I need to take the risk and be truthful. I’m not being my true self. If he’s the friend I think he is, he will accept me for who I am. He’ll accept my little Gavin and move on like nothing happened. I’m no different just because I have a child. If he doesn’t support me, then I guess it was never meant to be. I’m proud of Gavin and myself. (takes a deep breath) I can do this, just say it as if it is normal. (inhale) He’s my son.

Avatar Character Reflection:

I started my monologue project by using the graphic organizer the class was assigned. I had watched a few demonstration clips of a monologue, giving me a sense of what to envision. The graphic organizer had me list possible characters that I could pick for my monologue. I decided that I wanted to do Alyse because my mind was set on portraying a girl (to suit my voice range). Alyse was the most described girl in the book giving enough detail to create a sensible script. After I decided I would choose Alyse, I filled out more graphic organizer boxes that helped me investigate Alyse’s deeper thoughts. Flipping through the book I realized that the biggest vulnerability moment was revealing her son to Ty. I then thought about the possible emotion and thought going through Alyse’s mind, which came to be many emotions. After assessing the emotional atmosphere of the scene, I knew that it would be best for my envisioned Alyse. I know that revealing yourself as a teenage mom comes with many challenges and thoughts. I knew that the scene was the important, as it made a deeper connection with Ty. This scene was her showing that she trusted him, which is a huge step in friendship and/or relationship. I started to then collect data on Alyse. I found out what she was wearing, what she could possibly look like, what her initial emotions are, etc. After collecting all the data, I put it together in a realistic form to create my avatar for Alyse. I used the collected thoughts and emotions to create a monologue that she would say. After creating my monologue, I highlighted parts of which I needed to speak differently. This allowed me to show Alyse’s emotion without showing her actual face or my face. There were difficulties creating this assignment. Those being that the book was in Ty’s perspective. I could only read what Alyse’s outside emotion where, as Ty’s mind is not Alyse’s mind. I had to make an educated guess based of the book and my imagination. I also faced challenges when creating the avatar. The book had not told me of her facial looks, (hair, eyes, skin, etc). In the scene I only read about her outfit and her amount of makeup. Even with an exact outfit description the avatar website had its limits. Due to the limited number of styles, I had to pick the closest match to what Alyse would wear. The final product was the best I could do with my tools in hand and it’s a representation of what I imagine Alyse to be with a few twerks.