Escaped Felon & Ballerina Shot Down During Live Telecast

By Christian Domondon

   Escaped 14 year old felon, Harrison Bergeron stole the show at a ballet recital that was being live broadcasted on television, Harrison announced himself as the “Emperor of the world”, and removed all of his handicap devices, he then stated that he required a woman to take the role of empress, a ballerina arose and went up to Harrison, he then removed her handicaps and revealed her face, Harrison threatened all of the musicians and demanded they remove their handicap devices to play some music at the best of their ability, Harrison and the un-masked ballerina then took the stage and danced in the air, while they were dancing a hero arrived, Diana Moon Glampers, the Handicapper General took the stage and shot both of them down with her double-barreled ten-gauge shotgun, she then demanded everyone to put back on their handicaps and cut off the telecast, because of this incident the citizens have started to rebel against the government,  a select group of citizens have removed their handicaps and have started the “This Is Not Equality Movement”, their numbers grew quickly and over 50,000 people have been rioting throughout the city destroying buildings & robbing stores, Diana Moon Glampers suggests “everyone should stay home where its safe, and protect your loved ones” (Diana Moon Glampers 2081).