Hyper-intelligent chimp gets angry, lashes out at local kids.

Sebastian O’Brien

Last week, a monkey with intelligence enhancing implants throws clay, does inappropriate gestures, and writes obscenities on the window of his pen directed towards local school children and one teacher.

Hyperintelligent chimp named Sly is doing pottery in his pen when suddenly some local schoolchildren approach his pen and bang on the glass, startling Sly. Sly then proceeds to throw the vase he was working on at the children and uses the smeared clay to write SSA on the glass.

The handler in charge of Sly, Vern Davis, was ordered by Chairwoman, Delilah Miller, to take away Sly’s clay indefinitely. Sly is now being monitored closely to prevent any further incidents.