Lesson 6 – Unhealthy Relationships and Understanding Consent (Draft)
Materials Used: Townsley, D., Hughes, R., & Crooks, C. (2016). The Fourth R: Healthy Relationships, Safe Choices, Connected Youth. London, ON: The University of Western Ontario.
Introduction
Today we will be exploring some further strategies to deal with conflicts and various forms of violence including dating violence. We will also be taking a closer look at consent, and what consent means.
Activity #1 – Verbal Apology
Strategy – Discussion
Sometimes in a conflict we have to take responsibility for our own words and actions and realize that maybe we were in the wrong. For example, maybe you are in a conflict with a friend because your friend is upset that you told someone something that was supposed to be private. In these cases, it is important to own up to your mistake in a sincere way, making a proper apology to your friend. Take a look at the guidelines below:
Think about the following questions:
- How difficult is it to make a sincere apology?
- If you are the “receiver” of the apology, how did you feel when an apology is given?
It is not an easy skill, but practicing giving meaningful apologies is important because many conflicts could be resolved quickly if we all owned up to our behaviors, words and actions. Think of these guidelines the next time you need to give an apology in your daily lives.
Activity #2 – Preventing and Responding to Harmful Behaviors
Strategy – Problem Solving for Agents of Change
Last class, we had an opportunity to work through conflict scenarios and try to use skills such as being assertive. In the previous activity, we had the opportunity to practice apologizing to manage conflict situations. Sometimes there are conflicts that cause a friendship/relationship to end, particularly when we are being harassed or bullied or when it is an unhealthy relationship. Other times, we need to find a way to resolve the conflict to maintain the friendship or relationship. In this activity, you will have the opportunity to problem solve, consider your thoughts and feelings, and come up with some sort of behavior or action that might work to help minimize or alleviate the harm that is being done. In this way, students can become positive agents of change. Sometimes this may involve seeking help from an adult. Other times, friends can stand up and help if it is safe to do so without making the situation worse. This is called being an upstander as opposed to being a bystander who stands by and does nothing to help.
Take a look at the agents of change cards below. In groups of 4-5, read the problem that you have been assigned, record on a document your responses to Feelings, Thoughts, Behaviors, and Upstander.
Agents of Change Cards (6.2 H) A
Agents of Change Cards (6.2 H) B
Do you have any real life examples where you can be an Agent of Change and act as an upstander at Riverside?
Activity #3 – Warning Signs of an Unhealthy Relationship and Understanding Consent
Strategy – Small Group Discussion
Sometimes there are issues that are very difficult to stand up to. One example is an unhealthy dating relationship. In reality, an unhealthy or abusive relationship is everyone’s business. In fact, sometimes when a person is in an unhealthy or an abusive relationship, it takes someone on the outside of the relationship to recognize that there is a problem. As friends, we are typically the first people to recognize that someone’s relationship is unhealthy or abusive.
Sometimes people come to the realization that the relationships they are in are unhealthy and/or abusive. No one grows up imagining that they may become involved in an abusive dating relationship, however, a significant number of youth report being physically/sexually abused by their dating partner. A much higher number report being verbally abused by their dating partner and that the relationship continues in spite of the abuse.
Part 1 – Unhealthy Relationships
- Staying in groups, brainstorm warning signs that a relationship is abusive or unhealthy. You will have 5-8 minutes, to think and share, have someone record your responses on the whiteboard. Discuss the responses as a class.
- Staying in your groups, think about why people would stay in an abusive relationship. Discuss the responses as a class.
- As has been discussed many times in this health unit, there are many adults to talk to including: guidance counselors, teachers, administrators, social workers, parents, religious leaders, elders, public health nurses, etc. In addition, many communities have sexual assault centers and other centers that may be contacted when a person is in an unhealthy relationship. School support staff can lead people in the right direction for assistance related to abusive relationships.
Part 2 – Consent
Take a look at what consent is and understand how consent is given. Use the reference below.
Understanding Consent Reference (6.3 H)
Activity #4 – Assignment – Understanding Consent
Strategy: Research Questions
Using the website look up information about: What is consent?, Clearing up consent , Coercion, and Consent and Canadian Law. Also, look into information about Tool for Change. Now your assignment is to answer the following questions:
- How does someone give consent? What does it look like? How does it sound?
- What does Canadian Law state about consent?
- If you are not 100% sure someone is consenting to something, how do you find out?
- Create a list of consent rules to live by.
Handing in Assignments
You have 2 options. Option #1 is to create a word document or file with all of the assignments from all of the units. You will print and hand in all assignments at the end of the unit as one package. To save paper, please place your assignments on the same word documents, and do your best to reduce paper. Option #2 is to create everything in your Office 365 space, package everything from all of the units into a folder or a continuos document, share the folder with your teacher (select view only, turn off security). For each assignment, please clearly label the lesson # and assignment title, e.g Lesson #1 What are Your Stressors?
