You made have heard of this little story
Don’t worry the ending isn’t too gory
Although it may have seemed like a fairy tale
If you tried it now, you may be sent to jail
Now don’t let that send shivers down your spine
Before I even introduce you to the storyline

I’d like you to meet the king and the queen
Who always longed for a little bean
And then one day, their dream became true
When a little girl came right on que
He, the king, said with delight
“Let all the fairies come tonight”

Good party guests always bring presents
But don’t you worry they spared no cents
They promised her all the wonderful things in the world
But once they left, an evil voice hurled:
“How dare you think I’m too old to work,
Oh, my goodness, you’re such a jerk!
To your surprise, my magic still lingers
So on the bean’s 15th birthday, she shall prick one of her fingers”

The king was so scared that his daughter would die
That he cried out to the fairies with such a marvelous cry
“My magic still works, and only for good”
Said one little fairy with a pink little hood
“That evil little wench cast an irreversible spell
I cannot change it, but I will raise hell
I wish her not to die, but rather she shall suffer
Through a treacherous one-hundred-year slumber”

The king and queen were so grateful for her presence
They destroyed all of the spindles in fear of misfeasance
The bean grew into a beautiful and smart wonder
But on her 15th birthday, she fell into a bit of a blunder

She wandered the halls, so aimlessly
So she decided to climb the high tower with a hot cup of tea
She found something slightly different than on the ground floor
A large brown wooden closed door
She opened it up and was met with an old woman
Spinning some yarn on her spindle, a businesswoman

God, it was so beautiful, her finger reached out
In that moment, she pricked it, I wish I could shout!
It took her no time, for she fell into a deep deep slumber
Darn that witch, I wish I had her phone number

I would tell her that her actions have consequences
My goodness the kingdom went silent, has she lost all her senses?
It has now been a few years, and the story had spread
And fortunately for the bean, it found itself in a prince’s head

So he set out on his way to wake her up with a kiss
But here’s where the story thickens, plot twist!
Once he arrived at the palace, he scoured high and low
Until he found himself on the top level of the chateau

He ooo’ed and awed at the beautiful girl
And he expressed “One day, she shall be my world”
As he grew fonder of her beauty and grace
He went closer and closer, until they were face to face

He pursed his lips and went in
And this is where it REALLY begins
Once she woke up, she screamed and then halted
“Mom! Dad! I was sexually assaulted”

“Woah woah woah girl I just saved your life
Its not like I just woke you up with some sort of knife”
The girl was still startled, she started to cry
“You’re so lucky I didn’t give you a black eye”

The prince was determined to take her home
“Now, come along my princess, you are free to roam”
The princess wanted no part in all of this madness
“Are you kidding me, all you have caused is sadness,
Now excuse me, I will not take your hand
In fact, screw you I am going to take a stand”
And without a doubt the princess did what she said
She turned around and went back to bed