The positives of this essay is how much I improved writing with flow, better transitions and managed to follow the thesis, along with well collected evidence that made the essay very informative. However, being informative lead to having a lot of deadwood, mainly many awkward sentences. Along with some grammar mistakes and overall a not very strong conclusion in the essay.
Therefore, I plan to further improve making sentence more concise and making sure not to include facts that aren’t relevant. Along with, revising over MLA format rules.
Note: Having issues with edublog. Can’t load a third image.
This essay showed some improvement to how I written thesis statements, connecting quotes to text and the conclusion had no real issues. In addition, the whole essay is decent in length. However, where the topic was based from, it included some experiences of the main character that I didn’t understand completely at first, though, it was interesting to discuss how and why the main character acted they way he did in the story. Overall, a common mistake I make is my grammar and spelling that I need to check for constantly as I’m writing.
Its not the ideal essay, however it was a chance to review my understanding of essay writing and I know what needs to be improved.
The first good thing about this essay is enjoying the area that I chose my topic to be about, which was ‘how does the text reflect the experiences, the beliefs and the intentions of the writer?’, and I chose this question since I wanted to learn more about the author’s life and attempt to expand more about her connection to the story she written, it was a good chance to find those connections. The structure of the essay was concise and wasn’t to long to read.
I wasn’t completely satisfied with how I written the essay as the sentences seemed too fragmented and it distracted the reader from the main argument of the essay, in my perspective. Overall, I should improve how I plan to write an essay, including more notes, want quotes to include and finalize what each body paragraph has to have.
There were issues with Word so please let me know if it doesn’t appear
‘My first time’ ‘I learned’ ‘Be creative’
‘I looked at it and it reminds me of being creative, recording, knowledge, plans, and a connection to where I’m from.’
‘Where’ ‘Grew’ ‘Journal’
I chose these words because of what they tell about me. I traveled a lot, learned many things and improved on them. The journal is only full of class notes and drawings, but its the first that I mean to keep with me because not only is so I have my notes to look at if I forget something, but it keeps the ideas, plans and reminds me of what I want to keep doing in post secondary and beyond, which is being yourself and keep learning. Journals are used to keep a documentary of what someone is, where they traveled, experienced and learned.
From my understanding, poetry is more powerful when their is clear meaning to it. Showing symbols and using words that would make people have a relation, or using symbols to compare what the writer is telling about. Overall, powerful poetry will make an impression on readers and often inspire them on what they like doing.
Doing this exercise had me think that explaining what you know or how you feel doesn’t always have to be done with a written paragraph or essay because a proper written paragraph is the formal way to explain a topic and its made to have readers understand the point made immediately.
Where journals grew
Schools, homes and churches
a connection where I’m from
creative, knowledge and time
also where I met