Penny

          As I turn the corner, my converse squeak on the hallway floors. I don’t expect what I see and I try to hide my surprise, my step faltering for only a moment. As I get closer, I can see Penny’s smeared mascara, painting the canyons underneath her eyes even darker. Her chest is rising and falling rapidly as she desperately tries to gulp down air through the snot in the back of her throat. Her sharp crystal eyes dart back and forth down the hallway, her body is tense as she tries to compose herself before someone sees. I remember the first day that I met Penny, her loud voice matching her loud personality. Her porcelain skin and her loose blonde locks that she now tugs and twirls to take her attention away from whatever she can no longer hold back. Her pointy nose always upturned, giving you a bitter taste of her cold carelessness and judgment. Some would go as far as to say Penny is obnoxious. But apparently, she is also broken. Penny has never been kind to me. If anything, she has been rude. For a moment, my feet continue to march forwards, about to carry me right past Penny and into the comfortable safety of my classroom. But I pause. I pause because in the flow of Penny’s tears, in her strangled gasps and her hopeless eyes, I recognize myself. I take myself back to last night and I can feel the cool glass of my mirror against my back, I can feel the sharp sting of my nails in the flesh of my palms. I look down at them now, the marks already healing. For a moment I let the water spill from the dam in my mind and I am reminded of the darkness I dressed in this morning, I am reminded of the laments always whispered in my ears. What I would give for someone to hold me for a moment and tell me that it will be okay. Penny has seen me now and her eyes are weighed down by her embarrassment. She stares straight at the floor.

“Penny?” I approach quietly. She looks up, shame clear in her eyes betraying her tight-lipped scowl. I take a step closer, unsure of how she will react considering our past encounters. I open my arms and try to communicate with my eyes that I have nothing but understanding and compassion for her. Her lip quivers as she rushes forwards into my arms, and I hug Penny.

“Hey,” I begin. “I don’t know what’s going on, but I want you to know that everything is going to be okay.” She holds on.

I pulled back and walked away, unsure of what else to do. Penny said nothing and we haven’t spoken since. In fact, things went right back to the way they were before. I haven’t told anyone about what happened that day because I want her to know that I don’t judge her pain. I have never owed Penny a thing. But I stopped because I knew she needed someone, and hopefully, I was.

 

What I want to show:

I chose to tell this story because I think it reveals the pure human compassion that we need more of in this world. This did happen to me and I did feel the way that I described in the moment. It was an emotional experience for me because if a stranger had stopped to tell me that it would be ok when I needed it, it would have made a big difference. I want to be that someone for someone else. I hope that that hug did change things for “Penny,” and that she can look back to that moment when she is struggling again and know that someone cares.