Synthesis Essay #1 Corrections – Tobiasz Majerkiewicz – English 12

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Throughout writing this essay I have learned allot. From the cultures of the African American people during the Harlem Renascence to the gang wars between the east and the west coasts. But through out this assignment I don’t think I produced the best quality content. When I received the assignment back, I was informed that there where numerous flaws in my writing analysis and communication. Some things I would do better in the second essay would be to use less filler words such as: then, after, like, maybe and many more. The cons of using to many filler words makes my sentences drag on forever. Another thing I would fix with my writing would be to shorten my writing without losing the topic of that body piece. I feel I need to get rid of unnecessary information in my writing because it tend to make my essays long and unreadable. Overall I have quite a bunch of things to fix, hopefully my second attempt at an essay will be more structured and easier to read.Bad things aside I think I did some things right. I am proud that I managed to learn how to transition into quotes for fluently because without this my writing would be very choppy. A second thing I feel proud of in my writing is the fact that I stuck to the topic of each body paragraph and didn’t go off topic. I had a tendency to write off topic last year and I am glad that I finally fixed it.

Hope fully for the second synthesis essay I will be able to do better because I felt the quality of work I handed in was not to the best of my ability, and I have more to prove.

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