Narrative Essay Corrections

My Second Home

As I mounted up the long flight of stairs, I absorbed my surroundings. It’s as if time stopped in that moment. I could smell, hear and see; but I couldn’t move. I was in awe. I turned to my mom as she said, “This feeling never gets old.” The reflection of the lingering sunrise casted on the old, deteriorated buildings, the busyness of the city as everyone rushed past me, and the sound of ear-splitting sirens and cars honking their horns as they swerved through traffic. My heart was so full.

My legs were sore after the long, red eye flight, my eyes heavy with fatigue and my stomach growling from hunger. I lugged my ponderous bags behind me, pulling myself to street level. The frigid wind rushed through my hair. I took a deep breath and inhaled the fresh Parisian air. I took in my surroundings: I was finally here. I instantly knew how hard it would be to leave. This was my new home. Getting on the flight in Vancouver, being completely indoors for almost 20 hours, and finally being outdoors in a completely different environment was surreal. Is this real life? I thought to myself, or am I in a dream. I was whisked away into the fast-moving crowd of distracted tourists, bustling business people and local families on their way to school. Everybody was in their zone. Places to be, people to see and things to do. But it felt as if time stopped for me and all distractions were sucked away as my eyes drew themselves towards the Eiffel Tower. The way the light reflected off of it as it glimmered in the sunshine took my breath away.

Being in Paris is like being in a constant open air museum. The perfect balance between a modern city with a deep sense of rich history. I already knew I would have to stay longer than a few weeks to fully let the culture soak in. But I was able to dip my toes in during the time I visited. Trying to decode the strong accents when the locals spoke French, navigating my way around the city and, trusting my 5 years of French immersion were some of the challenges I faced. The diversity, warm pastries and effortless Parisian style made me fall in love with the city instantly. The inexplicable feeling of joy filled my body. I felt like a little kid in a giant candy shop. But this candy shop had many aisles to explore. Too many. All the unexplored boutiques, bakeries and museums left me feeling overwhelmed. Knowing there were only so many places I could visit during my time in the city and all the hidden gems I would be missing crushed me.

I constantly miss the feeling Paris gives when my family goes. The transition from rolling out of bed and tiredly strolling to a small, family owned bakery and demolishing a whole fresh baguette, to coming home and having cereal every morning is defiantly not an easy one. The endless photo opportunities and being able to find beauty in every little Parisian street makes me want to find adventure in everything.

But in the blink of an eye, it happened. The dreaded ending. As I lugged myself to the metro station, I took in every last moment, cherishing my last few minutes. “Do we have to go?” I asked my mom, hoping there was the slightest chance she would say no. But the inevitable happened. As I took my first step down towards the metro, I took one last breath of fresh Parisian air in. I looked around, acknowledging the fact that everyone around me would be continuing their lives in Paris and I? I was just an observer. Just a tourist. Nothing more. I bought my ticket to this museum and it was my time to leave. As I lifted my foot to take another step down, everything blurred out around me and I noticed something: The Eiffel Tower. It was glowing as the last moments of the sunset dipped down into the painted sky. Just like that, I was whisked down the stairs with the crowd. The crowd of distracted tourists, bustling business people and local families on their way to school. As I glided onto the metro, doors closing right behind me, my trip came to an end but, the memories remind me to find beauty in everything and appreciate the little moments because, before you know it, they will all come to an end.

 

  1. I want to improve on combining and making my essay more fluent. I also want to work on creating more imagery.
  2. I think I did a good job on creating metaphors and adding details to describe Paris.