Narrative Essay

Narrative Essay

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While doing my narrative essay, two things I was able to achieve was being able to show the story by using imagery instead of telling. I was also able to create a story that was well structured, having a beginning, body and end.

Two things that I would like to improve on is using more transition words to be able to make the story flow better. Another thing I would to improve is cutting out words that are not necessary and replacing them with better uses of words.  I would also like to improve my awkwardness shown through some of my sentences.

Narrative Essay – Shannon Ford-1wxnaot

 

“The Watch” by Elie Wiesel

As I walked into the room, the first thing I noticed was the scent. The smell of urine mixed with dead bodies, lack of hygiene and sweat filled my nose. As I entered, I noticed bodies lying on weak and uncomfortable looking bunk beds made of wood, for about five to six people to share. They looked like a pile of bodies stacked together crammed into one room. Their pillows were metal bowls, with only their clothing keeping them warm. I could see their bones peaking through their skin and suffering in their eyes. I could imagine the people begging for food as starvation took over their bodies. I felt hurt, about those who have lost their lives living in a place like this. This uncomfortable room being placed with other people like a prisoner with no water, food, or proper clothes and beds. The sound of creeks as they took a step on the old wooden floor and the feeling of warmth soon came from the bodies that filled the room. I can only hope that this photo I took will spread a message about these innocent lives who have suffered in this horrific room.

Related image

http://www.ibtimes.co.uk/elie-wiesel-holocaust-survivor-nobel-laureate-dies-aged-87-1568616