Compare and Contrast Essay: Corrections

2 things I did well:

-I integrated the quotes from the sources well and picked the right ones to support my arguments!

-My conclusion is well written and I left off by wrapping up my idea but also leaving one last point to make it more interesting.

2 things I could improve on:

-I could improve on my hook and think more about it when starting my essay

-I could try using less commas and making my sentences more concise

My corrected essay:

Compare and Contrast Essay-1dlxz12