I could have improved on…
- Going deeper and providing much more argument. It was there, but it wasn’t enough.
- Providing more research – using more evidence and sources helps my ideas to be more convincing and more trusted by others who would potentially oppose it in the first place.
I did well on…
- Keeping it structured – I stuck with the system and it ended up being an essay that was fairly easy to read. All the parts were identifiable by the reader.
The photo included below is Simon from the book “The Lord of the flies” and in my eyes, he represents the one who leads with love in the book.
Here is the document with the grammar mistakes corrected.