…He put his shoulders back and his heels together. “To hell with the handkerchief,” said Walter Mitty scornfully. He took one last drag on his cigarette and snapped it away. Then, with that faint, fleeting smile playing about his lips, he faced the firing squad; erect and motionless, proud and disdainful, Walter Mitty the Undefeated, inscrutable to the last. 

He took one last deep breath, and as he finished exhaling the firing squad captain yelled, “FIRE!” sending a barrage of bullets to end his pitiful existence…

“MITTY!” exclaimed his wife, “You’re supposed to put out the cigarette once you are done with it. You are going to start a fire!”

“Huh?  Sorry,” mumbled Mitty as he quickly put his foot over the cigarette to snuff out the remaining embers.

“Come on, we need to go pick up the car from the garage.  It is going to be night soon and you know I don’t like it when we drive at night,” explained Mrs. Mitty.

She passed Mitty the grocery bags and they began their two block trek back towards the garage.  Mitty had been in such a hurry that morning, that he had forgotten to pack an umbrella, making their two block walk even less enjoyable, as the rain/sleet combo had started to get worse.  As they walked, Mrs. Mitty continued with meaningless squabbles about the weather, their home garden, and new recipes she had heard of recently.  They stopped for a moment in front of a tailors with mannequins dressed in fancy three-piece tweed suits and fedoras, which prompted Mrs. Mitty to nag Walter about how he dressed even though he could never afford an outfit like that.

…“Let the princess go Dr. Klaue, I have you and your men surrounded,” said Secret Agent Mitty as he adjusted his fedora to sit rakishly on his head while he walked into the evil doctor’s lair.

“Hahaha,” laughed Klaue, “You must be blind, Agent, for I have no ransom in my hand and from where I’m standing my men and I outnumber you six to one! Give up now!”

“Looks like this fight isn’t going to be fair then…for you,” said Mitty with a derisive sneer.

He knew he had to act quickly as the princess was slowly being lowered into a vat of acid.  He leaped across the room like a nimble cat, dodging enemy fire and returning shots just as fast as they came using his modified Mauser Peacemaker.  Secret Agent Mitty was running out of bullets fast, but successfully got to cover in Dr. Klaue’s exotic pet zoo.  With only one bullet left and Klaue’s men closing in, he released the exotic pets, creating pandemonium in the lair.  With Klaue and his men occupied, Mitty raced to the princess’s aid.

“Stop him!” yelled Klaue as his Serbian tiger mauled him.

“Hang on princess I’m almost there,” Mitty reassured her, “Just keep those feet up and everything will be alright.”

He withdrew his knife from his pocket and in one motion, he threw the knife and cut the rope that was holding the princess and dove across the vat of acid, grabbing her midair and bringing her to safety on the other side.  He carried her out of the building, never looking back even as the building exploded behind him.  Secret Agent Walter Mitty, the hero once again.