Essay correction

1,do the corrections on your essay

2,post your corrected essay on your blog with the TAG: synthesis1

Hirohisa Tokugawa
Ms.Thomasen
English12
Feb 24th
Poem tells about poet

Does a poem disclose a poet’s identity even if they were not meant to do so? ‘’Juicy’’ and ‘’Saturday’s Child’’ both reveal disadvantages of African American life at that era. Specifically, poverty is clearly depicted in both poems. The Notorious BIG is also known as Christopher Wallace released ‘’Juicy’’ in 1994. This poem is meant for hip hop music which is recognized as one of the African American culture. Whereas ‘’Saturday’s child’’ was written by Countee Cullen in 1920’s when Harlem Renaissance, African American cultural movement, was spanning. There are some similarities, but some differences between the two poems. For instance, there are several differences in structures of the two poems. Because of traditional English education that he received and his pacifistic character, Cullen chooses to write poems in conventional ways, such as sonnets and allusions of English literatures. In contrast, the structure of BIG’S ‘’Juicy’’ was built for hip hop music thus its rhyme and rhythm are nonidentical to the one in Cullen’s poems. For this reason, the poetic structure and author’s social experience reflect the purpose of poems; eventually, they can portrays poet’s identities.
In both poems, poverty is revealed as the common suffering in the life. The main subject of ‘’Saturday’s Child’’ is a comparison between elegant and poor life. Cullen writes, ‘’I cut my teeth as the black racoon –For implements of battle’’(line 3-4). The word ‘’racoon’’ was used because it scavenges trash and live in the unsanitary environment. Cullen put this expression so that reader can interpret that African American people were in severe condition, such as being stereotyped, being discriminated and being in poverty. In addition, occasionally, the ‘’racoon’’ can be negative terms for African Americans. Cullen uses this word to states about his race in order to express troubles of their life. The title of poem ‘’Saturday’s Child’’ is an allusion to a folktale called ‘’Monday’s Child’’. In this folktale, children’s personalities are predicted based on day of a week, and Saturday’s child is referred as ‘’works hard for his living’’.(Monday’s Child 1838). The word of ‘’hard’’ could be recognized as the meaning of struggle or arduous, and Cullen implies that all African American at that time is ‘’Saturday’s Child’’. In other words, they are suffering from poverty just because they are African American. Similarly, in ‘’Juicy’’, poverty is based in Wallace’s younghood experiences is illustrated. Moreover, his poem described the prejudice that he received in his life: ‘’Considered a fool ‘cause I dropped out of high school Stereotypes of a black male misunderstood’’,(Wallace line 13-14). Addition to the poverty, negative stereotype based on his race has impaired his dignity.
Even though the two poems mention poverty, there are certain difference between the two poems; the purposes of referring to the poverty in the poems. The main topic of Cullen’s poem is to complain about the misery treatment and environment which surrounds African American. The way how he uses poverty as a topic of the poem conveys his passion to devote himself to improve African American’s social position. However, in ‘’Juicy’’, Wallace states, ‘’ ‘Cause I went from negative to positive’’(line 21). As the line reveals, the aim of stating about poverty that he experienced in childhood is emphasizing his success in his life. By contrasting poverty in the past and current his luxurious life, Wallace tries to express his identity that succeeded to a rapper from nothing.
There are several differences in the structure and poetic devices. ‘’Saturday’s Child’’ consists of strictly ruled couplets. The poem also contains various of poetic devices, such as alliteration and assonance. The traditional English education he received established his writing style in poem. Almost all his poem follows conventional structure and written in difficult connotations and vocabularies, for example, ‘’opulent’’(Cullen, Saturday’s Child, line10). ‘’Opulent’’ means ostentatiously rich and luxurious.
As one of his characteristic points of poem, he tends to put allusions about mythology or old literatures in his poem. Therefore, to understand his literatures deeply and clearly, some researche about the allusions are necessary. Since he uses complicated allusions and difficult vocabularies, sometimes, his poems are referred as ‘’less accessible’’. However, he doesn’t use those complexities to just reveal his capability as a poet. He strives to enrich the contents of poems with all what he can apply to it. In contrast, the structure of ‘’Juicy’’ and its poetic devices in it are specialized for hip hop music. Therefore, rhyme and rhythm has the most importance among all poetic devices. Wallace writes about hip hop musician whom he respects:’’Salt’n’ Peppa and Heavy D up in the limousine’’(line 3). In addition, the vocabulary in
‘’ Juicy’’ is more accessible and connotations of words are easy to understand. For example, ‘’puttin’ 5 karats in my baby girl’s ears’’(Wallace line11) means how rich he is now. The research about allusions in his poem isn’t as significant as the one in Cullen’s poem. He also has confident identity that he is the rapper who is the representative of East coast. For this reason, some references about places where he strongly feel his identity can be found in ‘’Juicy’’.
In conclusion, even though the two poems share the same topic, Cullen and Wallace have completely different aim to it. Cullen accomplishes to his aims that complaining about the terrible state of African American’s life and depict his feeling of belonging to African American in his poem. Whereas Wallace succeeds to stress his identity of having been a loaded hip-hop musician from nothing. Poetic devices and structure vary based on what author is trying to express the most. The rhyme and rhythm are the most important components in this poem since the poem is lyric of rap music. Rap music is one of the biggest themes in Wallace’s life, and it is also his identity. On the other hand, Cullen puts more effort on following the traditional poetic structure, and an allusion about old folktale. His dedicated learning of English poem brings this style of writing. His learning and writing style can be the identity since he has spent enormous time to improve it in his life. Even though poets is not meant to express their identity, if poet devote their best on poems, they can tell poet’s identities.

3,Include images of the authors

4,reflection- two things you are proud of and two things you want to do better on synthesis #2.

:2 things proud of

-I could support my thesis based on some evidences

-My thesis and evidence for it were well-organized.

:2 things to improve

-I made a lot of grammatical errors and wrong word choices. Due to those errors, some parts of my essay becomes very complicating.

-My explanation about quotes are in sufficient, therefore, sometimes, quotes aren’t seem to support my ideas.