Essay Corrected

 

About my this essay, I think I improved my grammar, and I also reduce the grammatical mistakes. and second one is I use some strong word to prove my idea and more colourful of my essay.

Next time, I think I should increases the logical thinking, and make essay more logical. And second thing is more details to write and try to including all the informations, not just write the summary.

Synthesis Essay(edited)

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