The positives of this essay is how much I improved writing with flow, better transitions and managed to follow the thesis, along with well collected evidence that made the essay very informative. However, being informative lead to having a lot of deadwood, mainly many awkward sentences. Along with some grammar mistakes and overall a not very strong conclusion in the essay.
Therefore, I plan to further improve making sentence more concise and making sure not to include facts that aren’t relevant. Along with, revising over MLA format rules.
Note: Having issues with edublog. Can’t load a third image.