I don’t know where I stand or barley know who I am… I live in a repetitive world feeling like I’m living the same day over and over again. With high expectations and the pressure for success, I get anxious. “Life’s to short” my parents have always said, but I feel like I am wasting time. I live a life set on repeat. Wake up, eat, go to school, homework, eat then bed.
The stress came storming down once I built myself the reputation of good grades. Trying to maintain the good grades and still having a life outside of school is so difficult. When I receive my score on an assignment and I had not done as well as I had hoped, I feel stress. I set my personal expectations high, only to bring myself down when I do not reach my goal I had in mind. My parents push me to get good grades so I have a better chance in being exerted into a good university and live my best life. Of course they want me to succeed, but I know they won’t be mad at me if my grades are not perfect. I get stressed out because of my siblings, there is a lot of competition between us for who gets the best grades or who’s most athletic.
Most teenagers think they’re not good enough, maybe they’re not the favourite in the family. We assume the worst until it becomes our new reality. When finally the stress, expectations and pressure becomes to much. If there is a way to leave my confused and upset mind even for a short amount of time some kids will take the risk. Just one smoke, drink or vape will do the trick. During the time they are using, they probably feel mind free and calm but once that feeling goes away it goes back to that lonesome feeling but this time worse knowing you know have one more secret to keep from your parents.