What has this world come to? Why is it that nowadays its more important to fit in and suite other people’s needs then to focus on your own? These questions were all I could think of when one of my best friends (Let’s call him Jimmy) told me that he had decided to smoke weed to calm his nerves. I remember that the night he told me that, I begged him not to try it but he promised me it was just for once. He kept on repeating the phrase “My squad does it and they’re all fine”. It made me question whether he was doing it for himself or just to fit in. Days passed and I realized his reactions to my texts were different. He was always trying to act cool, he wasn’t the same Jimmy I knew. He had lost himself in the hope of pleasing others and being part of the popular kids. He texted me one night telling me he has now done drugs way more than once and he told me it was all under control. I kept telling him that it might be under control for a while but it will definitely get out of control. He did not listen to me and the friendship we had disappeared.
For one month I did not talk to him, it’s not that I didn’t want to it’s just that he had found new friends and replaced me. I found out from some friends he was drinking and skipping school and so one day I texted him to see how he’s doing. He did not tell me anything, the trust he had was gone. That day I cried to myself, I was mad at myself for not being able to stop him but I could not help. When this topic came up in class he was the only person that came to my mind. A guy who was so self conscious and didn’t like who he was, changed into something that was worse than the personality he started with. Not only did the drugs and alcohol tempt him because of his anxiety, but it was his friends that tempted him too.
These days to be able to higher your self esteem or be more confident in society you need the validation of others, you need to be seen as cool but that shouldn’t be the case, that is not ok. You should live for yourself, not for the validation of others.